Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
