I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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