they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
