walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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