Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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