Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize