The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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