there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
