i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
