I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize