i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
