i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I need water and some morals
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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