Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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