dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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