At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Found your dick twin last night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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