i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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