He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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