Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
