I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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