What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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