Swine flu. Run for my life!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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