dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
