Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
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i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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