adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
