Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
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