her vagine was all disorganized.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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