You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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