Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
