A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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