I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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