fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh god it's open bar.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
