well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
