i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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