They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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