The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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