You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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