theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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