if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
