this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
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you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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