Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
