What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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