Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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