So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
