I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
