I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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