this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
