Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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