I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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