Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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