Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize