you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
