You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
