Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
