WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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