OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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