Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
