Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
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Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk