i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage