But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
