He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?