he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.