You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize