So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
