Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
