is your mom at the bar?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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