Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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