How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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