Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
